Lonely

15 days before the end of the year and the recurring theme of 2007 would be that of loneliness, of failure and of despondency.
Looking at the pictures taken with people, I see my happy faces but it does seem to be just a mask for our underlying problems.
I remember when I first came into Hwachong, the principal said "Hwachong is not just a place for you to excel academically; It is also a haven for you to build lasting relationships with peers of your own age."
Now I dare say I have finished Junior College and yet all I feel is a sense that JC does not bring people together; It just drives people apart.

I guess it was always going to be a tall order when you put the brightests minds of the nation under one roof and expect them to be one big happy family. Over the past 2 years, I have seen how people increasingly lived for themselves. For their dreams, for their aspirations.


I am not going to use this post to accuse people of selfishness and greed because lets face it: If we didn't work for ourselves, we wouldn't be here.
And there is nothing wrong with living for yourself.
I myself have given up lots of class outings, soccer sessions and whatnot to study for whatever test or exam to give me a leg up over my peers.

Having done all that, all I can feel is a feeling of regret. Regret that I never got to interact with the people in my class; Regret on how my classmates are going to end up as increasingly distant acquaintances till they fade into the obscurity of my memories.

I do treasure the few friends I have made, and I do hope that we can still keep in touch.

Now, this post may seem to be an emo rant but I do not feel emo. I am strangely bereft of emotion and this does seem to be comforting in a strange twisted kind of way.

This year has seen the making of friends, the strengthening of old relationships, they fading of others.
I guess this is how humanity works.

Nevertheless, I am thankful for the experiences I have experienced this year. From heartwrenching agony of soccer to the exciting periods of the first three months when I had like 28 angels, I have sampled a plethora of experiences.

I am sorry for how fragmented and disorganised this post seems but this is just a way for me to pen down all my thoughts.


The only time we waste our life is when we think we are alone. -Mitch Albom





A recurring topic I have used for a great majority of my univesity applications is that of dreams. While talking to some of my friends, I realise that many of them held such great dreams and yet did not do anything concrete to realise their dreams. It is kinda sad as you see how people just accepted that dreams do not come true and they did a job they hated to survive; to allow them to gain social recognition and to go with the flow.

I hope that it does not come to this for me as I have great dreams for myself. Really.

A passage that I particularly enjoy is that by steve jobs.

This speech was entitled Stay hungry, Stay foolish and it was given to the Graduating class of 2005, Stanford University.

Excerpt:"
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. Yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. One day, you too will die and you will be replaced. Sorry for sounding so melodramatic but that is the way it is. And that is the way it should be, as death is the single best invention of life. It changes life, clearing out the old for the new. And this is important as this means your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your inner voice. Most importantly, have the courage to follow your own heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. This approach has always worked for me and I believe it would work for you too.


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